Ape Like Me

I fed a gibbon today.

That sounds like a euphemism or something, but I really mean that I fed an honest to god primate. It reached out through the mesh of its cage, I ignored the signs about reaching back, and I gave it a food pellet. I put food in the hand of a gibbon. I gave a gibbon a snack.

I was at this zoo/safari-esque place with my family, so don’t worry, feeding the animals is not only encouraged but part of the experience. Technically, I wasn’t supposed to reach toward the gibbons because of their longer arms. They’re known to take cell phones. It really had nothing to do with food. So yeah, after watching my wife feed a zebra, I wanted to bond with another creature too. Me and the gibbon became good buddies.

There’s probably some deeper metaphors there about the relationship of man with nature and the origin of species, but I was just happy to make that gibbon’s day. At least, I hope so, cause that critter sure as heck made mine. For all I know, he’s pandering for food pellets left and right and I was just an easy mark with gibbon-length arms myself, but I choose to believe that we had — no, have — something special.

We better, because the first time I tried and gave him a carrot. He did not like that at all. Like howling, jumping around the pen, and thrashing around not like. I thought I might have kicked off the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes for a second there. Cesar who? But luckily, our food pellet exchange was far more productive.

In other news, my book Fairfax Cleaners is on sale throughout July. The digital copies are anywhere from a whopping $0.99 in some places to absolutely free in others! You can’t do much better than that. So if you were ever on the fence before, why not? Do you like fairies who act like gangsters and swear like sailors? How about a werewolf who rides a motorcycle? Japanese yokai turned spirit assassin do anything for you? And those are just the bad guys. Don’t even get me started on Gus, our hero.

So if you’re looking for something new this summer, I guess what I’m saying is you could do a lot worse. If that doesn’t get you going, what do I gotta do? Get a gibbon for you?

Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/Fairfax-Cleaners-Dan-M…/…/ref=sr_1_2…

Physical Copy: https://www.amazon.com/Fairfax-Cleaners-Dan-M…/…/ref=sr_1_3…

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/fairfax-cleaners

Nook: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/…/1131177773;jsessionid=92E2…

iBooks: https://linkmaker.itunes.apple.com/en-us/details/1459119241…

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/932548

The Perfect Cherry Blossom

Night number two on my own proved to be as soul-restorative as the first. I started off with some obligatory Hearthstone of course. I knocked out the third wing of Black Rock Mountain pretty easily (saving Heroic mode for something to do later) and finished up the second half of my sole daily quest. My mecha paladin deck self-explanatorily titled Gears of Justice is becoming one of my favorite decks to play. It was fun. The adventure definitely helped add some whimsy – I love reading the new boss’ hero powers for the first time (I stay away from spoilers), but after my arena marathon the other night, I was kind of Hearthstoned out.

Dinner was sushi from the grocery store.

That’s something I thought I’d never utter before, but our Kroger here is enormous. Gargantuan. So big, it could serve as disaster relief for the community in case of emergency. It recently underwent some impressive modifications which added a whole host of food options for dining, not just shopping. We also have a large Asian population in Bloomington. I don’t mean that to sound weird in any way. This is a college town with a direct line to China through our music program. Put it this way, not only is there sushi in the grocery store, there’s a sushi bar in the grocery store. It has a conveyer belt and everything!

Since the wife can’t eat sushi being pregnant and all, I picked up a couple of rolls and something called squid salad. I just had to try it and let me tell you, squid salad is delicious. That’s a second thing I thought I’d never say. I couldn’t find a matching recipe online, but it was strips of calamari, red peppers, ginger, seaweed and mushrooms in a spicy sauce.

Whether it was the sushi or a chicken and egg scenario, but I ended up drinking some scotch and watching The Last Samurai while I fiddled with some Magic cards. That’s another movie I really like. It’s a little – OK a lot – heavy on the romanticism side when it comes to foreign culture, but the scenery is gorgeous. Even half paying attention as I restructured my werewolf deck, I picked up on things I hadn’t noticed over my dozen viewings before. Maybe I did, but I don’t think I really got it, you know? I’m talking about Captain Algren’s desire to become samurai. In an epic steeped in romantic nostalgia like this, of course it sounds awesome to be samurai, but I guess I never truly understood (or had to reremember) just how much Algren hated himself for what he’d done to the Native Americans. He transposes his thoughts and feelings of one indigenous culture fighting modernity onto another in a similar situation.

The rest of you are probably like, “Duh!” But something about it really struck me this time. It’s probably because of my own writing, but I look for meaning and motivation behind actions more than ever before. Also, what happens to Billy Connolly’s character? It’s possible the guy bit it during the initial battle and I just missed it. I was wrangling my werewolf deck under control. It’s still not where I need it to be, but it’s heading in the right direction. The werewolf transformation mechanic is such a cool idea, but its really hard to pull off and be competitive in a timely fashion.

So collectible cards and movies … yep, sounds like my kind of night.

Maintenance for my site is slow going. I’ve been trying to flesh out little bits here and there to add more content.

Side note: I hate it when writers use “here and there.” I mean I get it. It’s a haphazard smattering of something, but you can just say that. I understand the intention, but it always comes off as lazy writing to me. Similarly, I hate “24/7”. Why can’t you just say, “all the time”? “24/7” is five syllables and “all the time” is three. Even though the first is an abbreviation, it’s literally longer to say than summarizing it, but I digress …

I’ve done a little work on the Comics section and uploaded the first 10 issues of my old webcomic NOD: The Animated Series. Once I took the old site down, those issues only lived on my home computer, but I wanted to put them somewhere where they could actually be seen! It’s too many to simply dump on the page so while I’m exploring options of a scrolling or viewing widget, hopefully you can whet your appetite on the first 10.