I fed a gibbon today.
That sounds like a euphemism or something, but I really mean that I fed an honest to god primate. It reached out through the mesh of its cage, I ignored the signs about reaching back, and I gave it a food pellet. I put food in the hand of a gibbon. I gave a gibbon a snack.
I was at this zoo/safari-esque place with my family, so don’t worry, feeding the animals is not only encouraged but part of the experience. Technically, I wasn’t supposed to reach toward the gibbons because of their longer arms. They’re known to take cell phones. It really had nothing to do with food. So yeah, after watching my wife feed a zebra, I wanted to bond with another creature too. Me and the gibbon became good buddies.
There’s probably some deeper metaphors there about the relationship of man with nature and the origin of species, but I was just happy to make that gibbon’s day. At least, I hope so, cause that critter sure as heck made mine. For all I know, he’s pandering for food pellets left and right and I was just an easy mark with gibbon-length arms myself, but I choose to believe that we had — no, have — something special.
We better, because the first time I tried and gave him a carrot. He did not like that at all. Like howling, jumping around the pen, and thrashing around not like. I thought I might have kicked off the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes for a second there. Cesar who? But luckily, our food pellet exchange was far more productive.
In other news, my book Fairfax Cleaners is on sale throughout July. The digital copies are anywhere from a whopping $0.99 in some places to absolutely free in others! You can’t do much better than that. So if you were ever on the fence before, why not? Do you like fairies who act like gangsters and swear like sailors? How about a werewolf who rides a motorcycle? Japanese yokai turned spirit assassin do anything for you? And those are just the bad guys. Don’t even get me started on Gus, our hero.
So if you’re looking for something new this summer, I guess what I’m saying is you could do a lot worse. If that doesn’t get you going, what do I gotta do? Get a gibbon for you?
Physical Copy: https://www.amazon.com/Fairfax-Cleaners-Dan-M…/…/ref=sr_1_3…